dreams

I remember why I needed a new journal now. I needed one to write donw wierd dreams that I have, coz I seem to be getting alot of dejavu moments lately.

last night I had 2 dreams. Can't remember the 1st now :(

but the 2nd one had somethng to do with Y.

All i can remember now is that I wanted to bring 2 bottles of water through a door but Y showed me that he already had one in his pocket for us. so i've chucked the bottles out.

Kinda wierd coz in my dream I knew that we weren't together anymore but he seemed physically close. hmmm...

And we walked through the door toghether and I woke up.

Answer my riddle.

What sinks below
and resurfaces
and will copiously continue to do so?

baby. BABY!

and so, my sister in-law has showed signs if labour.

I'm anxious, I'm exicted, I'm worried.

Waiting around piss me off!

Everyone should get pregnant!
I want a kid!

I'm so happy!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGGGH!!!!!!

Keeping it real.

what does that mean?

so, my relationship with Mr. F has moved a tad bit further than I expected.
bf? I guess so. serious bf? I don't know. we'll just do stuff and see how it goes. How about that?

so...he's my bf(?). what now?

I stand on the shoulders of GIANTS!

- Isaac Newton -

If your foundation is good, you'll be even greater!
This is something Robert Nixon (university lecturer) said that caught my attention. Human captial can only grow further after it reaches a certain level. A year 6 student cannot possibly learn university math without having done high school math. And so, I can only improve my human captial at university when I have successfully completed high school - that certain level of education.

and so I stand on the shoulders of Giants.
Ad maiorum natus sum.

I make doctors feel awkward

Young male doctors are a fucking funny species. In other words DIMWITS!

Today I had to undergo a health assessment for work. And the doctor giving me the examination was white, young, and looked fairly geeky. He asks me the usual question in which the nurse had asked me. Then puts me behind curtains and asks me to strip leaving my underwear on, lay on the bench, and cover myself with a sheet. I'm like huh? (never had to do this before!) So i do as he says. Usually it takes me about a few months before I let a guy see me in my underwear, but he's a doctor no probs. I shrug it off and tell him: "Yep. I'm ready."
He walks in, looks at me here and there then says he has to check my heart.
ok.
He lifts up the sheets and starts blushing. obviously my boob is too big so he has to check around the boob. So why the hell does he have to lift up the sheet? Then he needs to check my stomache. Announces that he is going to touch me, blushes more, lifts up the sheet and exposes my upper half. Right now i'm thinking, just touch me from above the damn sheet, whats the difference. But its ok coz he's a doctor. BUT SHOP FUCKING BLUSHING! Might was well not have the sheet there in the first place.
Right now, if another male decides to fucking touch my body I'm gonna shred them to pieces.
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My family doctor is a old, traditional, vietnamese man. I went to ask for a referral to a gynaecologist. On this occasion this gp was away and his young son also a doctor was there instead. Young doctor blushes, "Your profile says your single.".
"Yes I am, but I have had sex." I straightforwardly say.
And the conversation just gets more awkward.

ALL ARROWS POINT TO ME!

YES, as most would know, I'm an attention whore!

And when the attention comes from Mr. D. OMG!

I was answering a question in class and he said my name. Asked for my opinion. he said he said... he said... "Sorry Carolyn," [he said CAROLYN he remembers my name! he does! argh!] "sorry Carolyn, what were you saying?" this is coz I got interrupted while making a correct statement.

This is so embarrassing, he must know. I couldn't answer the stupid fucking question coz I was too stunned looking at him and I couldn't stop smiling either. And he can see me smiling! And I about to burst out laughing everytime he looks at me. I was blushing... enough said I couldn't hide the smile. But he smiles back, I wonder why he smiles back - am i just imagining things? Did he look up the the year book for my name too? no... he's not as stalkerish as I am... and he has a gf. He wasn't wearing glasses today and messy hair.. makes Carolyn drool...pitty he wasn't wearing geeky clothing. He was trying for the homey look which kinda looks wrong on him - but i can live with that... I could just get him really drunk and get knocked up and force him 2 marry me! [wishful thinking here]